Catastrophewaitresss

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1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
Jesse Scribner…but I’d like to say Gabe Hedger.

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
every once in a while…he’s a good guy.

3. What was your 1st alcoholic drink?
I think a drink of a beer one time when i was little…but champagne on new years

4. What was your FIRST job?
babysitting if that counts…but lifeguarding and teaching swim lessons at Sullivan Civic Center
5. What was your FIRST car?
the Ford Taurus…the “cliTaurus”…yes, my friends and i called it that. classy.

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
chase…..weird.

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
my mom cuz she was calling me to wake me up…and failed.

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
Miss Zimmerman. She was so sweet but she cried a lot. Which is weird.

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
My mom’s friend took us on a little plane ride over decatur when i was like 7. It was pretty cool.

10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?
Probably Jessica Brandenburg…and no, never.

11. Where was your FIRST sleepover?
My babysitter and basically second mom, Laura, had a slumber party for me for my birthday when I was 6. I remember we watched scary movies and I ate a giant pixie stick. I also learned that Dennis Rodman was changing his name to “orgasm” and I didn’t know what that was.  weird things to remember…

12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
the girl at starbucks when I was ordering coffee.

13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
my sister, Tammy. I was the flower girl. I had a purple dress that I loved..and I wore it constantly when I played dress up.

14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
Jumped out of bed so I wouldn’t be late for work.

15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
Neil Diamond when I was in my momma’s belly.

16. FIRST tattoo?
not…yettt……or ever….still thinking on that one..

17. First piercing?
ears, age 8. Then i was trying on fancy earrings before I went to the beach one day so I took them out and they closed up. poo.

18. First foreign country you’ve been to?
Canada. Lame.

19. FIRST movie you remember seeing in the theater?
Alladin

20. When was your FIRST detention?

oh wow…got a lot of those. Um…i think Mr. Brunner’s class for talking or something.

21. What was the first state you lived in?
come on feel the illinois…girls rock your boys…

22. Who was your FIRST roommate?
Laura Mizes, freshman year. Or Nicole V in journalism camp. yeah, i went to journalism camp. what up.

23. If you had one wish. What would it be?
self-actualization…my sister said that when she filled this out. I’m sticking with it.

24. What is something you would learn if you had the chance?
piano. to drive a stick shift. and italian.

to all the lovas out there…and the lova’s lovas….and the lovas’ lova’s lovas…

Sooo many reasons to love Jorma Taccone. And Gnarls Barkley.

This weekend is so interesting already. I waited on nothing but couples tonight. I know it wasn’t valentine’s day…this was the string of people that didn’t want to actually go out on the big day…but the night before. And they were cheap cheap cheap. I guess valentine’s day is really a day for assholes. That never take their girlfriends out for just any reason–so they feel obligated to take her out at this time. But don’t worry, they won’t sweat it too much. They’re just stiff the server to save some extra cash. I’m not bitter or anything…

I think my favorite table was around 8. Two 17 years olds that split a $15 pasta, drank water, and ate 3 baskets of bread. The girl was tall and still akward. Kinda pale. And wearing a black dress which made her look even paler. And her shoes were that cheap shiny plasticy heel. She had no product in her hair and it was split down the middle, straight, and about to her shoulders-all one length. Adorable. You could tell she had personality, but she didn’t really feel comfortable.

The boy was kinda cute in a 17 kinda way. He had a little vest on and some cliche black framed glasses and a lip piercing. He was all decked out in his little outfit. I could hear him saying “I don’t take myself too seriously…but it took me 2 hours to get ready”. He had way too much product in his hair, however. He should have given some of it to his girlfriend. zing. I thought it was really weird that he didn’t know what to order for like…10 minutes. I think he was nervous. It was cute. And they held hands. barf.

Some tips for guys on Valentines’ Day:

-Order for your date. It’s cute and gentlemanly. Or at least let her order first.

-Don’t drink water excessively. Its noticeable.

-Don’t text underneath the table. Its also noticeable. And ungodly rude. It reminds me of when adolescent angry teens come in with their parents and spend the entire time texting.

-Don’t put your phone on the table. It’s rude. More than likely you will get a call or text and of course you will answer it and that is also rude.

-Don’t check out the servers. Even when you are standing at the bar waiting for a table, you’re not safe. We will catch you. And give you the stink eye. Not to mention the fact that it is tacky to check out a server…while you’re on a date with your girlfriend/girl-friend/wife/ho/main slut or whatever.

-Don’t stiff the waitress. Or tip poorly. It makes you look really cheap. 20%. Come on, meow.

-Don’t pay so much attention to your date that it makes the server feel awkward to even bring you your food. I understand that this is your little time out together, and you want to make the best of it…but eye fucking her from across the table is just….awwwkkkwwward.

-Don’t get your date drunk. She’ll probably do something stupid. Which will, in turn, make you look stupid. And creepy. Wine gets girls drunk. Fast. Unless they’re fat.

-Don’t talk about how great the food and service is if you are only going to leave a 10% tip. Your compliments don’t pay my bills, sweet pea.

I love my job.